Ann Gordon
Moab, Utah

© 2006-2015
Gordon Computer, LLC


Daffy Definitions and Silly Poem

Daffy Computing Definitions

An unexplanable, unplanned, and troublesome application characteristic, in addition to the application's irritating features that were actually designed that way.
What you'd better have plenty of to cover your personal PC upgrades.
You screaming at your computer when it suddenly decides to restart.
A prefix derived from the Greek kybernetes, or helmsman (reportedly), the same one who assured Odysseus a quick voyage home.
A computer software setting that is not your fault.
Place to lay your head 'for just a minute'.
Floppy Disk
The rigid, square, thin, removable data storage media that are neither floppy nor disk-shaped.
Hard Drive
Lots of congestion and construction on the way to work.
Lots of activity on the golf course.
Much needed beverage to keep you awake all day.
Your head after a day of deadlines.
An on-screen list of options that are often unavailable, unnecessary, or enigmatic.
What you do to lawns to keep them looking good.
What you'd like to do to your PC after tech support keeps you on the line for an hour.
Your butt after all the time you spend sitting in front of a screen.
How to land that 5 lb. walleye you've got on the line.
What you pretend to have when you call in sick to go golfing.

If Dr. Seuss Wrote a Technical Manual ... it may read like this:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,
Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

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